| Time to let go of rose tinted glasses?? |
It suddenly felt that—OMG 27! Such a big number! Just 3 years shy of 30 and yet so much to be achieved in life!
Peep into my world of thoughts, opinions and ideas. My mind is a wanderer, it envys the freedom of wind,depth of ocean and vastness of universe...here I let myself share my bizarreness with others..
| Time to let go of rose tinted glasses?? |
The night lingers on
FEELING BLUEAnd so it came to be
The confusion, the pain
I look towards myself
To find when it all began
Why o why o tell me why
I strive to find the way
This never-ending urge
To steer everything away
The confused state of mind
Has been a friend I fear
Cherry dipped in wine
Or lemon in corona beer
Life o life where areth thou
Lay me a bed of roses
Cry me a river when I foul
But not without offering choices
Lay me a bed of roses,
I can fight thorns at times
But never fuck me up like this
Coz this isn’t my destiny or a will divine

Up and up, round and round the hill we went, in the dark night, clouds kissing us, as we made our way back to our camp in the quiet village of Telbaila. A rickety bus honked from a distance and the driver, with his eyes popping out, shouted “There is a white tiger growling uphill. I saw the eyes and the strips. Run back if you want to live!”
We were a team of twenty friends visiting Telbaila for a spiritual retreat, but the news had already driven the calming effects of yoga and meditation out of our system. All the torch lights were put on and we started screaming (more out of shock) to keep the wild beast at bay.
It had started to rain by the time we reached our camp. Some distance away from my shack, I froze. Amidst the bushes, I saw something moving and making a queer sound. My heart thumped against my ribs. I wanted to run but curiosity got the better of me.
I parted the bushes much to my friends’ disapproval. A big wild cat, albino, was giving birth to its litter. Three out, one half-way through. As the new life was coming out, we breathed in life. I declared to my friends that I’ll name this kitten ‘Tiger’.

A for Armani, B for Burberry, C for Cavalli, D for Dior.. .that’ll follow next!
The hollywood tots who made it in the list are-
Sam Alexis Woods, daughter of Tiger Woods and his wife,
Cruz Beckham, son of David and Victoria Beckham;
Matilda Rose Ledger, daughter of Michelle Williams and the late Heath Ledger;
David Banda, son of Madonna and Guy Ritchie;
Sean Preston Federline, son of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline;
Sam Sheen, daughter of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen



The scattered pages on the table,
Last glass of wine,
Those pages tell a fable,
My suicide night I design.
Red is the colour in my eyes
Black is my soul
Cheerful colors ain’t for me
dejected is my soul.
Scattered, battered, ripped apart
Is it an ending or a new start..
Glass of wine catches my eye
the creature in it fights for life
Hapless, tiredly aiming the rim
Its in pain, tough luck
Wine swallows it again
Pain is good, I tell myself
The noose hangs behind
Pain kills pain, I tell myself
Pain is divine
My suicide night has come, as I planned
Time to let world go..
Hatred, betrayal, humiliation
Time to let that go.
It’s dark, just before dawn
perfect time to be dethroned
gloomy, ghostly, grim, gray
Oh it feels like home.
The time has come, my suicide night
from my desk I rise
for the noose that awaits me
in my room, dingy and quiet.
On the stool, I alight myself
forward my neck and put it around
closing the eyes, I breath deeply
and let go off the ground.
Yes, this is it, the time has come
I'll be happy in my rebirth
Everything blacks out..
Every bit was worth.
THUD! Oh the pain, the eternal pain
No, not in my heart now
but hell yes I'm slain
I think I broke my hipbone, as I crash to ground
Stupid noose, I damn
can't embrace me around!
As I try to get up , cast a look about
sunshine fights its way through blinds,
At bay, a rooster screams aloud.
It had dawned a new day
I glance at the noose that broke
Another glance ,this time sways
to the wine glass lying ignored.
I'm surprised, as I lay aghast
that creature in it had made its way
Up to the rim...at last!

Performance?? huh..Nepotism is back in town folks!
Who sees it all?
Varuna has but a thousand eyes
Indra a hundred
And I, only two
Gripped in nostalgia
I don’t know what to do….
College life is coming to an end. Last few days left. There is a sinking feeling; perhaps a sweet sorrow. Sweet because of the opportunities that lie beyond and sorrow because of all the goodbyes one has to say and leaving sweet memories behind.
I’m generally not open about my feelings..but I think it’s the right time to thank a few people who came by these 3 precious years to make them happy and memorable.
For me, the college life started on a low-key note. I had taken a year’s hiatus during which I preferred to remain in the confines of the 4 walls of my room. Meanwhile my best friends had engaged themselves in good professional courses out of town. So, when my college life started, I found myself lagging behind my peers in terms of confidence, trends, attitude and ‘coolness’ factor. Those were some forgetful months. But the spring of 2007 would change it all…for good…for the rest of the coming years.
A long lost friend came in touch; I became a member of students’ union in college [cultural secretary-a sexy post to handle ;)], my average academic performance shot-up, top scholarships fell in my lap, took part in many co-curricular activities, won prizes, did stuff for creative satisfaction, and worked actively for college.
Throughout, this journey, I’ve few people to thank who made my college days an experience which I’ll cherish all my life. In chronological order they are -:
1. Namrata Dang-for cheering me up throughout the low phase of 1st yr. and believing in me. Couldn’t have cleared that depressing phase without you. Namrata though you are rude, blunt and way too ‘up-town’ish but I love you for the clear heart you possess! :)
2. Malvika Wahi- for making my term in Students’ Union full of fun, masti, laughter and learning. Going for sponsorship hunts even after dark, staying back in college till 7 during fests and events, running after the teachers throughout the campus to get work done, small escapades in Mc D’s and slogging our ass off...ufff..but all this didn’t seem a tough job with you by the side. This gave me the strength to continue my stint in the union in the 3rd yr. as well. You rock Malvika! :)
3. Meghna Nijhawan- sometimes I still wonder how and why I became friends with her in the first place, considering the fact that- firstly, I thought of her as an obnoxious, loud and fake girl throughout the 1st yr. and secondly, the fact that I’m very cautious at making friends. It began online and soon the durations of our chats increased. Still, when in college we used to hangout with our separate group of friends and seldom talked with each other. Very slowly, as destiny would have it, we made our way into each other’s territory. I found a trusted friend and soul sister in her. She made up for the void created by the absence of my best friends with me. Now we share even the microscopically minutest information, crack the lamest possible jokes and laugh on them too! I love the time spent with her. I can easily label her as one of my best friends, though I’m lingering in doubt if she reciprocates the same feeling..
Meg you are weird and ‘totally’ ajeeb. But I love you for who you are, your caring and restrained self which only a few people know. :) Thank you gtalk for giving me this friend!
4. Priyanka Sharma- for the small period of time when we were buddies.. I shared some of the best laughters with you. Even though we talk less now or some trivial issues that cropped up (I’m happy they’ve subsided now) you are an amazing person and a nice human being whom I’ll always respect. Not to forget, you’ll always remain my first Assistant Director ;)
5. Abhilasha and Nisha you are the best egs. of how true friendships can be maintained even with minimal contact. You personify the statement ‘friend in need is a friend indeed!’ Love both of you for your simplicity and endeavors :)
6. Anisa Akbary and Sakshi from union- will miss both of you gals! Himangi will also be remembered for her cleverness, double talk and back-stabbing :P
7. Arunima Mazumdar- the final person in chronology. Since internship with a media house is an integral part of my course, I can count this as my college life only. The dull environment of DD News’ website deptt. was pretty vibrant and frolic with Miss Mazumdar occupying the pc next to mine ;) . Had endless talks over coffee and chai about guys (including Hindul :P), career and other things all and sundry. In mere 10 days we knew about each others’ lives. I had an amazing time during my entire internship. Arunima you are the best multi-tasker I’ve ever come across. I love you for your straight talks and wisdom tht comes out of your cluttered mind every now and then!
And there are many more.... will thank them personally...thank you all guys..love you all!!

Meghna tagged me a grip ago! I have to respond according to the blog etiquette rules. So in reply to said tag here are 8 weird/random things about me --
UN: I talk to myself. I’d rather refer to it as thinking out loud. : P sometimes in order to process my thoughts I have to say them out loud. This means a lot of self-reflective conversations. Some of my close friends have even caught me in the act! Lol
DEUX: I am a little bit obsessive compulsive about lines and symmetry. I will therefore, go about adjusting people's clothing, pictures and public signs until they are perfectly aligned.TROIS: Back in childhood days, I used to fantasize myself as one of the main characters of the Jules Verne science fiction novels and used to enact alike when alone or interpret situation in daily walk of life. Ditto for the Sherlock Holmes series. Here I was the pretty girl in distress; P
Whoever reads this post may consider himself, herself tagged! There you go!

LIFE...... its strange how casually and blasphemously we take it ....little do we understand its significance. Only those who have been on the thin line separating life from death can gauge its importance and know the miracle this four lettered word is...Unfortunately or fortunately, I’m one of them.
It was 29th sep and the eve of my birthday. I was in anticipation of the next day as it was going to be special this time. One of my best friends had flown to
But this wasn't meant to be…
As the night progressed, I started feeling uneasy; by
In bed, half-conscious and helpless, it was then that I realized what life actually means- to me, to my parents, to my loved ones. Thoughts came and went out of my mind. I recalled what people had said….
Life is a responsibility, perform your duties- parents had said
Life is a mystery waiting to be unfold- grandma had said
Life is a party, enjoy hard- friends had said
Life is a goal, achieve it- teachers had said
One life to love- a friend in love said
But what relevance did all these sayings hold for me lying there on the mercy of drugs and oxygen mask??
I opened my eyes and looked around. The room was swarmed with visitors who had come to ask about my well-being. But I was looking for someone else. The door opened and my dad entered with the doctor. My grandma was sitting beside my bed, holding my hand. Mother was standing behind her, timid and teary eyed. As the doctor began his check-up, I looked towards my parents, into their eyes, which were filled with fear, love and reluctance. I couldnt help but smile at their attempts to look calm and composed. I got what I was looking for …. My answer .… life means YOU, said their eyes.
All my doubts concerning life were cleared. Life is one which a person lives for another human being, It aint any mystery or party or goal or anything.. Life isn’t lived for selfish purposes because then it wouldn’t be called life, it would be a mere existence! Cats, dogs, other animals...they simply exist….It’s in the innate nature of humans to ‘live’ for others but sadly we are forgetting this subtle thing because of our complex lifestyles. Life is a blessing and thus meant to be lived selflessly. Life would be a wonderful journey if people understood this.
Ok, agreed, one scoop of selfishness at times wouldn’t hurt as a bonus!
And from that point on I decided to live life for my parents, not to disappoint them in any way and make them proud. I tried to catch up with them on the lost time that I had given to other people who now hold little importance. It was a time to amend things, life-style and relations.
Of course, there is another close group of people too for whom I share the same feelings and some others towards whom the degree of selflessness varies per se…
My stay at hospital also gave me a reality check of the surroundings. I was humbled by seeing the kind of ailments the patients adjoining my room were suffering from and empathized with them. Besides, I conveniently demarcated my ‘supposedly good friends’ and ‘SMS’ friends from real friends. Priorities in life became clear.
Slowly my condition began to show improvement and when more friends, family and relatives used to pour in to see me, the environment would become a celebration of sorts. I enjoyed all the gup-shups and chit-chatting among them and used to feel disappointed when they left, thinking of the boring night that would follow.
By the time I was finally discharged, I had made friends with many nurses and doctors. I left the hospital feeling contended and happy… not just happy because I had thwarted Dengue out of my system but also because a new meaning of LIFE had dawned upon me which would make my life worth living… not just for myself, but also for others!